Worry worry worry... And still worry.

For the last few days Leslie has been feeling like crap. She has been complaining of a constant back pain. It has really been bringing her down. She has been sick constantly for the past week. She scheduled herself to see a back doctor until this coworker of hers she really really dislikes and wishes was unemployed and homeless for the rest of her life told her that it might be a kidney infection. This was a blessing. She rescheduled for her primary doctor and finally made her way there. The doctors did their thing, and when we finally heard from the doctor just a few minutes ago, they said that her blood work came back clean. She either has some kind of virus or has an ovarian cyst.
What is the point of all this? Well we were (and still to some extent are) thinking her pain was due to the fact of appendicitis. The thought of having the one I love in surgery was terrifying. I kept telling myself that it was a routine and normal type of surgery that people go through everyday. Did that help me? No. Not one bit. Not at all. How does one cope with having a loved one hurting? This is a very simple thing, I cannot imagine how I would be worrying if we found out she had cancer. I don't know how I would cope. Am I being a baby? Am I being irrational for pulling out my hair, chewing my nails down to bits and getting absolutely no sleep over a simple appendectomy? I do not know. All I know is that seeing your loved one hurt hurts. Worrying over them becomes a full-time job. I just praise God that she does not have something more serious. He is who I have to give my worry too. He is who I have to give my doubt to in any situation. I know that this experience will add another level of stress during my time at Basic Training: worrying about her health. I will just have to look to God to be her protector and watch over her while I am away.

What I Want.... What She Wants....

I have always wanted a dog. In fact, I have always wanted a German Shepherd, having a grandfather who always had one or more at a time. My girlfriend, Leslie, wants a dog as well.
Also, I have always wanted a gun. Leslie likes that I want guns as well. Our versions of each differ slightly.
My rendition:

A German Shepherd with a Tactical DSA FAL. Perfect!

Leslie differs. Just slightly. She wants a dog and also a gun. But what she wants... well look:


Yeah. This will be an interesting relationship.

Stray from the seriousness

I am a gun nut. I love guns. In particular, I am in love with the black gun, the AR15. I have yet to own one yet. But, when I return from MCRD and SOI, I will most likely buy one. I found http://www.m4carbine.net/ and the guys on the forums there were extremely knowledgeable and helpful in showing what the lowdown is on the AR15 platform as well as in depth details on any of the tactical firearms

Why Join?

I am often bombarded with the question as to why I am choosing to serve in the military, especially with current President. People often say I am very brave, or I am very stupid, or I just don't know what the hell I am getting myself into. The truest of the three would have to be the last; I do not know exactly what I am getting myself into.

Ever since I can remember I have wanted to be in the military. It has fascinated me. As a child I set myself to find out everything I could about the military and all it encompasses. The avid little reader I was, this turned out to be no problem. Books soon became replaced by video games. Medal of Honor was the penultimate immersion into what war truly is for an 11 year old (Or so I thought). I fought my way up the beaches of Normandy, through the frozen wasteland of Belgium, all the way up to Berlin. For years I did this over and over, the terrain changing every so often. I reached a point of maturity where I realized that this was not in the least realistic, and war was hell. War is not something to be desired. No one wants to have to kill another man, not for the pure sake of killing. No, I reached the point where I understood why men fought wars, as much as I could understand. Men fight wars because they realize that someone has to protect the freedoms we Americans have. They are defending what they love. It hit me why the Marine Corps' slogan is "The Few. The Proud. The Marines." Not only is the attrition rate extremely high, but there are not many who hear the special calling that those who have joined the military hear. I join because I will fight to defend the freedoms our founding fathers fought for. I joined because I feel that there is hope for America, and that the freedoms we enjoy even under our President are far greater than any other country in the world.

That is why I am joining the military. Does it make any sense? Probably not. It probably seems like a jumbled mess of my thoughts. Well I am joining the military because it is the right thing for me to do. I believe our current President has not reached a point of me not being able to serve under him. There is still hope for America, It is not a lost cause yet. For those who have served are will serve or are currently serving, I thank you. Thank you for hearing the call.

The beginning...

Ahhh.... Where to begin. Where to begin. It feels so weird to be graduating. It seems so strange to reach this point in life where life starts coming at you at a million miles an hour. I find myself pondering the fact that it feels as if there is some esoteric wisdom one should be granted upon adulthood that I, well, was never granted. But that's life; the experiences we have shape us. Oh well. I have to grow up. I am on this journey of life.

55 days remaining. (Yes, I did just click over to iCal and check.) I will ship out to Marine Corps Recruit Depot to be shaped into a basic Marine on June 14th. I am so excited. God has always led me to the military. At first it was the Air Force to be a fighter pilot. Then it was the Navy (Just like Dad!) to be a SEAL. Then the Army to be a Ranger. None fit. The Marines did. I cannot expound on why. It is where God wants me. My Military Occupational Speciality will be 0311 Infantry, that is if I successfully complete Basic Training. It will be quite the adventure.

But see there is another journey I have started 9 months ago, on August 29th. I started a relationship with Leslie Poulin. On June 14th, our relationship will become very difficult. You see, she is my best friend. I love her dearly. Every day I find that out. I love her a lot more than I can explain in writing. No one loves me like her. She is always there for me. We are extraordinarily close. We enjoy the comfort of living very close to one another. But on June 14th we embark on a journey together. We get to test our love. Any of you nay-sayers will get to sit back and see if you are right, to see if we really are as devoted as we say we are. It will be difficult. It will be the hardest part of Basic. Our relationship will be reduced to letters. We will have to hold onto Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour, and the Salvation He alone brings, to carry us through. James 1:2-4 says "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." Our relationship will face trials. Yet we have to find joy in them, and realize it is all a part of the journey of love.

Life will become very... Interesting soon. I am in this holding pattern for the moment, but when the sun rises over the New Mexican desert on June 14th, life will begin for me in two aspects. I will be challenged and will be asked two questions: Do I have what it takes to become a United States Marine and do I also have what it takes to love someone enough to wait three months before I see them again? These two questions boil down to one simple yet complex-beyond-reason question: Do I have what it takes to be a man?